The song–“That I Would Be Good”, by Alanis Morissette–has been a mental health theme song for me for a long time. I was listening to it last night and it still evoked the same emotional response. No matter how I may be feeling, I always want to feel loved, to feel like a good person–a worthy person–even when I’m not myself.
Alanis Morisette, who has struggled with an eating disorder and mental health issues for a long time, also suffered from postpartum depression after the birth of her son on Christmas Day in 2010. She gave an interview to The Daily Mail back in August and I think her quote about that time in her life was really interesting:
“The degree and intensity of my postnatal depression shocked me. I am predisposed to depression, but what surprised me this time was the physical pain. I hadn’t realised the depths to which you can ache: limbs, back, torso, head, everything hurt – and it went on for 15 months. I felt as if I was covered in tar and everything took 50 times more effort than normal. I wished I could have cried but there was no relief during that time; my version of depression is almost below crying where there is just despondency. Amazingly, it didn’t hinder the creative process and I wrote the album. I had various therapies and now I feel all light and springy. Thankfully, it didn’t interfere with the bond with my son, although I think that has strengthened since I got better in April.”
Makes me wonder if she listened to this song for strength as well.
Here are the beautiful lyrics written by Glen Ballard & Alanis Morissette.
That I would be good
Even if I did nothing
That I would be good
Even if I got the thumbs down
That I would be good
If I got and stayed sick
That I would be good
Even if I gained 10 pounds
That I would be fine
Even if I went bankrupt
That I would be good
If I lost my hair and my youth
That I would be great
If I was no longer queen
That I would be grand
If I was not all knowing
That I would be loved
Even when I’m not myself
That I would be good
Even when I am overwhelmed
That I would be loved
Even when I was fuming
That I would be good
Even if I was clinging
That I would be good
Even if I lost sanity
That I would be good
Whether with or without you
Here’s a YouTube video of a live performance if you’d like to hear it. http://youtu.be/44TRkB9dxvE
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motherunadorned
motherunadorned
motherunadorned
motherunadorned
Twitter: jenrenpody
says:
Cristi, thank you for this gem of a song. I have found a new favorite song to add to my inspirational playlist. All we really long for is love and connection, isn’t it?
Jenny recently posted..How Not to Respond to a Proposal
Twitter: MotherUnadorned
says:
Oh I’m so glad you like it! How awesome to introduce you to it.