I can’t even begin to tell you how long its been since I’ve blogged. In some ways I’ve missed it, but mostly I look back and see how this blog became an obsession that fed my own mental health issues, bringing out the manic side. I don’t know about you but I tend to throw myself into my passions with such fervor (and I suppose mania) that I quickly burn the candle at both ends and then burn out. And I hate that about me.
But it is what it is.
This year I’ve stepped back from so much in the digital world. I occasionally tweet but mostly to just retweet things I see that are important or interesting, and on occasion touch base with friends. I still personally Facebook, but even that has been less activism and more family focused.
At end of 2011/beginning of 2012 I was struggling emotionally. I was depressed AGAIN. I dreaded the sun rise. It meant facing another day. So I worked with my doctor and adjusted my meds, stepped back from stress as much as I could and lived in real life instead of online.
And holy hell its been a crazy year!
In May, I got arrested.
Seriously.
I got arrested, handcuffed and into the back of a police car and booked at the station. I was never actually in jail thank heavens. It was all SO stupid and simply because of a clerical error. I couldn’t believe it! I was so shocked and confused. But thankfully now its all been fixed and is no longer on my record. But talk about STRESS, and expected expense.
Then I dropped my phone in the toilet. Erg. Stupid. stupid.
And THEN my 4 year old, being a curious 4 year old caused a major flood in our home. We had to move out for a couple of weeks while demo and repairs ensued. Our insurance was fantastic and really took care of us. (State Farm rocks by the way.) But for 6 weeks we lived in a steady stream of workers and dust and piles of crap in boxes. Stress, stress and more stress! (Not to mention more unexpected expense…our deductible was not cheap.)
But somehow I made it through all of THAT emotionally strong and stable. Don’t get me wrong, I had my moments. But overall I handled it all and still looked forward to the sunrise each day.
For me, it came down to this…
#1 I had the right balance of meds.
#2 I focused on myself and my family. Even with all of the stress and expenses, I truly appreciated that fact that we have each other, we’re healthy and we have so much love in our lives.
#3 I took charge of my physical health and successfully started a new diet. I’ve lost 22 lbs since May, and I feel great, proud, strong and confident.
I still have my moments of course. And I always will.
And I still have guilt for stepping away from the blog. I do want to be active in advocating for mental health and suicide prevention. I really really do. Its still so very important to me. But not at the expense of my own sanity.
I just wanted to let you know that I’m thinking of you, wishing you well and hoping for good mental health for all. You just might see me posting a bit more here and especially on Facebook and Twitter as I come across good info online.
And please feel free to comment here or email me at cristicomes@gmail.com if you ever want to chat, vent or need advice.
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motherunadorned
motherunadorned
motherunadorned
motherunadorned
So grateful that you came to talk to us. Continue to do what’s good for you, and put off guilt. When you have something to say, come here and say it. Write when it’s from your heart. No judgment, honey. Just love!!!
Frelle recently posted..Wordless Wednesday/#iPPP
Twitter: Motherunadorned
says:
Its so hard not to have the self imposed guilt! But its so silly. I love you too Frelle!
Thank you for commenting. 
Cristi Comes recently posted..When Blogging and Social Media Overwhelms
Twitter: jenrenpody
says:
So happy to hear your story and how you are doing. I’ve missed seeing your words. I am working on taking charge of my physical health. Any tips?
Jenny recently posted..Split personality
Twitter: Motherunadorned
says:
Hi Jen! Glad to see you. I am the worst when it comes to exercise so I”ve been focusing on diet right now. The Dukan Diet is what’s been working for me. Low fat protein and veggies mainly. Its difficult to give up carbs temporarily but the scale has been moving so that’s very motivating. What have you been doing?
Cristi Comes recently posted..When Blogging and Social Media Overwhelms
You’ve always been a rock star in my book!
Twitter: Motherunadorned
says:
Thanks Andy! You and Amy are rock stars as well. xoxo
Cristi Comes recently posted..When Blogging and Social Media Overwhelms
Twitter: fromtracie
says:
I’m happy to see you here!
It doesn’t do anyone any good if you put yourself at risk to to advocacy work. So drop that guilt, you don’t own it. Taking care of yourself is good, and I’m proud of you.
Tracie recently posted..Rescued Books and A Love Note
Twitter: MotherUnadorned
says:
Thank you so much Tracie! Its good to see you too!
Cristi Comes recently posted..When Blogging and Social Media Overwhelms
You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else properly! And that includes advocacy. Glad to see you stepping back and doing that, even in the midst of chaos! You’re a talented writer, caring friend and mom and clearly helpful to many, keep following your passions and always take care of yourself.
Twitter: MotherUnadorned
says:
Thank you Tania. You’re such a great friend! xo
Cristi Comes recently posted..When Blogging and Social Media Overwhelms
It’s great to hear from you. But it’s even more great to know that you are taking care of yourself. That is awesome. We love you!
Twitter: MotherUnadorned
says:
Thank you so much for dropping by Katherine. I’m truly sorry I dropped off the face of the planet but it was definitely the right thing to do. I really appreciate your support!
Cristi Comes recently posted..When Blogging and Social Media Overwhelms
As always, you find your way….you may take the long, winding, heavily wooded path, but you find your way nevertheless.
I love you and I’m so happy you have found a good balance for now. It is so easy to lose that balance and it sneaks up on you over time so stay vigilant. We may be far apart in distance, but you and my “girls” are always close in my heart!
Twitter: MotherUnadorned
says:
You’re always in my hear too Nicole. Love you!
Cristi Comes recently posted..When Blogging and Social Media Overwhelms
Hi Cristi! I just found your blog thru the PPD bloggers group! I’ve been blogging for two years about marriage motherhood and mental health. I really appreciate your outlook on IRL breaks. I was on vacay and was so relaxed and then I realized it was b/c *I was basically unplugged. It was a great feeling! Take care, Kathy
Kathy Morelli, LPC (@KathyAMorelli) recently posted..Book Review: One Mom’s Journey to Motherhood by Ivy Shih Leung
Cristi… you are so loved. What a year you’ve had. Definitely be proud of what you have accomplished. You are an amazing person and taking a break to take care of you is the perfect thing to do for you right now and that’s all that is important. You are in my thoughts. {{{hugs}}}
Melissa recently posted..The Budget Project
I am very much the same way! When I get excited about something, I go at it full force, until I stop from pure exhaustion and realizing that I’ve been neglecting other areas of my life. It’s hard to stay balanced, especially when you’re dealing with mental health illnesses, family, and life itself. Taking care of yourself is first and foremost… the rest of us will still be here ready to read when you’re ready to write!
Rachel recently posted..Walking the Walk and Talking the Talk