GUEST POST By: Pauline M. Campos, Aspiring Mama**
Once upon a time:
*I had a baby
*Gained 45 pounds
*On top of the 15 pounds I was so close to losing before I got pregnant
*Which is technically on top of the 35 I gained after college when my thyroid dumped me
*And blindly believed I would work it off after baby
*I may have peed off about 15 pounds
*Then I ate 10 of that back
*It could have been the Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome, the insulin resistance or the hypo-active thyroid…
*But then I would just be pointing fingers because
*Bottom line? I had a major mama muffin top
*And?
*It wasn’t pretty
*So I tried
*Weight Watchers
*Nutri-system
*South Beach
*Counting calories
*Working out till I was blue in the face
*Getting on the scale to check my progress and
*Looking for the nearest pint of Ben & Jerry’s to drown my sorrows in
*Life went on
*Buttercup turned one
*Then two
*And I realized I was still holding on to 35 pounds of pregnancy weight
*So I wrote a book
*And tried
*Weight Watchers
*Nutri-system
*South Beach
*Counting Calories
*Working out till I was blue in the face
*And?
*Looking for the nearest int of Ben & Jerry’s to drown my sorrows in
*Obviously
*Something wasn’t working
*Or maybe all of it wasn’t working
*Then again, the more accurate statement would be that
*My Body wasn’t working
*So
*I
*Tried
*Something Different
*Gluten-free
*Dairy-free
*Low-carb but
*Healthy grains
*Eating clean
*Which means bu-bye sugar!
*(I miss you Ben & Jerry’s)
*And even though I had
*An occasional run in with a bag of Doritos
*And walked into a Snicker’s Bar
*My scale and I made up
*Mainly because it stopped calling me a fat ass when I stepped on it
*But that also could be because
*I have lost 15 pounds since November
*And
*35 in the last year
*Which means
*I am five pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight
*12 pounds from weighing the same as The Husband
*13 pounds from weighing less than The Husband
*And?
*25 pounds from my wedding weight
*Which means?
*I am halfway to passing go and collecting my MILF card.
*And?
*Halfway to my very own version of
*Happily Mother After.
The End
Announcer’s voice: Don’t miss the next book in the Happily Mother After series in which Pauline throws the scale out the window after peeing on a stick.
Pauline’s voice: Can we clarify for the audience, please?
Announcer voice: Hmm? Oh Right. (Clears voice) No sticks were peed on in the making of this blog post.
Pauline’s voice: Thank you.
Announcer’s voice: You’re welcome.
**Pauline M. Campos is a former newsroom journalist turned stay-at-home-mama-writer with a a blog, a book, and a currently ongoing agent search. She can be found on twitter as @aspiringmama and on her blog at Aspiring Mama, where this post originally appeared. Pauline also contributes towww.owningpink.com and to www.bookieboo.com.
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motherunadorned
motherunadorned
motherunadorned
motherunadorned
thanks so much for the chance to guest post. I love connecting with other mothers who are in the same place I am. So much pressure is placed on us from outside sources so supporting one another is so important. Thanks again!
Twitter: Motherunadorned
says:
I couldn’t agree more Pauline. And being open about the challenges we face as women and mothers is such a great way to feel not so alone and encourage one another. Love your funny style too! I can laugh even though i totally relate and know post baby weight can be a very hard issue.