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I’m Not a Bad Mom Because I Take Medication

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This post was syndicated on BlogHer Thursday, April 28!

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OK, its confession time.

I take antidepressants.

I took them when I was pregnant with Ronin.

I took them when I pumped breastmilk for him for 13 months.

I took them when I was pregnant with Ellie.

And I’m still taking them while I continue to breastfeed her at 14+ months.

I believe this DOES NOT make me a bad mom.

Some of you might think me bad for taking “drugs” that could possibly affect my babies. It wasn’t an easy choice for me either, I assure you. But I’ve taken meds for over 12 years for what psychiatrists have diagnosed as major depression with anxiety.

Before first trying to get pregnant about 5 years ago, I even tried to VERY SLOWLY wean off of my meds, hoping I could handle not taking them for my future children’s sake. And let me tell you, it wasn’t pretty.

Just ask my wonderful, loving, uber supportive and kind husband John (and NO I’m not being sarcastic, he is all those things and more.) John has seen me at my worst and still sees me as the best thing that’s ever happened to him. Seriously, ask him.

Another confession.

Sometimes I don’t know why he loves me as much as he does.

My depression is a huge struggle for him too. I hate that, but yes I’ve said it.   My mental health truly affects those nearest and dearest to me. It affects how much I get done each day around the house. It affects whether or not we even get out of the house. It affects our sex life. It affects John’s stress level and happiness.

And right there lies the reason that taking meds does not make me a bad mom. In fact, I would venture to say that my willingness to be treated actually makes me a good mom.

Happy mom = Happy baby, right?

Another confession.

My mental health has taken a nose dive of late and I’ve just started the process of changing my antidepressants.

If you’re unaware, it can be common for medication to work for a time and then decrease in effectiveness. It’s all a really big chemistry experiment to find the right balance for every individual.

I’m not looking forward to the switch because even though in the long term, I will hopefully begin to feel better, for the next few weeks or month I might not be feeling so hot. But hey, didn’t I just say my mental health had taken a nose dive? So what’s a few more weeks to maybe find some relief.

I’m working with my psychiatrist-as always-to switch drugs appropriately. Wean off of one, build up on another. It’s what must be done for the sake of my children, my husband, me.

My kids need the mom (Me) with ultra patience. The social mom who loves to connect with friends, and go on play dates. The mom who can get the laundry done, groceries ordered, and dinner on the table. She’s the me who consciously chose to attachment parent, co-sleep with my kids, breastfeed, babywear and never cry it out. The me who takes the challenging parenting route and can not only handle it, but thrive on it.

They do not need this sad, exhausted (yet unable to sleep) mama who’s having difficulty concentrating or focusing on the important things at home. So I admitted all of this to my psychiatrist and husband, and we’re making the med change.

I am a good mom because even though I take medication, I can admit I’m not perfect and ask for help.

Please don’t judge me. And please don’t judge yourself if you’re also struggling.

You are not alone.

Please note, I am not a doctor or medical professional. The preceding is my personal opinion and is not intended as medical advice. If you are struggling please see a doctor immediately.

 


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About Cristi Comes

Warrior Mom. Wife. Writer. Advocate for mental health, suicide prevention, self care, self image and style. Technology and social media lover. Board of Directors, American Foundation for Suicide Prevention Washington State Chapter. Editorial Team Postpartum Progress.

Comments

  1. My name is Simone. I live in Chalmington, Great Britain. I
    randomly stumble on motherhoodunadorned.com. I just want to say “Hi”.
    http://www.mamapearl.com recently posted..http://www.mamapearl.comMy Profile

  2. Oh Julie, Cymbalta withdrawal isn’t fun. Been there. Please go slow slow slow. You are not alone. I’m so happy you graduated therapy!!

Trackbacks

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  3. […] mid-April I wrote the post “I’m not a bad mom because I take medication” at the start of a much-needed antidepressant med change. The post incredibly was syndicated […]

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  6. […] HomeAdoptionBFingBizFertilityGiveawaysMental HealthParentingPreemiesPregnancySuicideI’m Not a Bad Mom Because My Kid isn’t Potty-Trained Posted by Cristi Comes 0 commentsAll righty! Today I’m kicking off the new Motherhood Unadorned Thursday Series “I’m Not a Bad Mom (or Dad) Because…” with my own post about my non-potty-trained-kiddo. I’m really excited about this series because with it I’m inviting guest posts each week! I’ve already gotten one for today from @BruceSallan and two lined up next week from fellow #PPDChat moms. If you’re interested in submitting for this ongoing series, please email cristi@ellieadorn.com. Also, if you haven’t already don’t forget to check out my original “I’m Not A Bad Mom Because I Take Medication” ————————————————————————————————————————————-Holy crap, I am SICK of diapers.I’ve been diapering bums for almost four years.Yes, Ronin is less than two months away from four and is still not potty trained … AT ALL. Like I said the other day when Robin @FarewellStrangr mentioned her (potty trained) 3-year-old and poop, my brain went straight to how horrible my parenting skills must be to have him still in diapers.But I know I’m not a bad mom.I’m a good mom. I love my boy and he loves me.He’s very much like me actually. Anxious. Shy. Cautious. Sweet.I believe his diaper to him is a safety net of sorts. And not for pee. For his anxiety. On days that I’ve tried to push it and force him diaperless I see intense panic. Not necessarily manipulation.I don’t want his bodily functions to become a real issue. I want him to be ready. I want him to want to be a big boy. I want him to see potty training as his own accomplishment, and not a constant failure.I was in Florida last month and talked to the mom of a friend of mine. Let’s call her Joyce, because that’s her name. Anyway, she’s raised two grown daughters and has five grandkids, among other qualifications like nurse. And to hear her say “It’ll happen when he’s ready” was a breath of fresh air.No advice on how to *make* him want to do it. No, have you tried this or that. Just it’ll happen when he’s ready.I want him to be ready. I really REALLY do. But I love him with a fierceness of a mama bear, and I want to not only guide my cub to success but help protect him from unnecessary anxiety. I KNOW anxiety. And I believe forcing him to potty train is just that, unnecessary pressure to do something he WILL do in his own good time.Do I feel like a bad mom sometimes when all of his buddies and younger cousin are running off to pee and poop on the pot with no issues? Yes, I do. But that’s just my own mama guilt that I’ve created for myself. I need to let that go and OWN my parenting beauty.Hi, I’m Cristi. I’m a good mom. And my almost four year old is still in diapers.//LinkWithinCodeStart var linkwithin_site_id = 664507; var linkwithin_div_class = "linkwithin_hook"; //LinkWithinCodeEnd wpa2a.script_load(); Filed in Diapering, Mental Health, Parenting, Potty Training 0 comments No comments yet. Be the first to leave a comment !Leave a Comment Name Email Website […]

  7. […] HomeAdoptionBFingBizFertilityGiveawaysMental HealthParentingPreemiesPregnancySuicideI’m Not a Bad Mom Because My Kid isn’t Potty-Trained Posted by Cristi Comes 0 commentsAll righty! Today I’m kicking off the new Motherhood Unadorned Thursday Series “I’m Not a Bad Mom (or Dad) Because…” with my own post about my non-potty-trained-kiddo. I’m really excited about this series because with it I’m inviting guest posts each week! I’ve already gotten one for today from @BruceSallan and two lined up next week from fellow #PPDChat moms. If you’re interested in submitting for this ongoing series, please email cristi@ellieadorn.com. Also, if you haven’t already don’t forget to check out my original “I’m Not A Bad Mom Because I Take Medication” ————————————————————————————————————————————-Holy crap, I am SICK of diapers.I’ve been diapering bums for almost four years.Yes, Ronin is less than two months away from four and is still not potty trained … AT ALL. Like I said the other day when Robin @FarewellStrangr mentioned her (potty trained) 3-year-old and poop, my brain went straight to how horrible my parenting skills must be to have him still in diapers.But I know I’m not a bad mom.I’m a good mom. I love my boy and he loves me.He’s very much like me actually. Anxious. Shy. Cautious. Sweet.I believe his diaper to him is a safety net of sorts. And not for pee. For his anxiety. On days that I’ve tried to push it and force him diaperless I see intense panic. Not necessarily manipulation.I don’t want his bodily functions to become a real issue. I want him to be ready. I want him to want to be a big boy. I want him to see potty training as his own accomplishment, and not a constant failure.I was in Florida last month and talked to the mom of a friend of mine. Let’s call her Joyce, because that’s her name. Anyway, she’s raised two grown daughters and has five grandkids, among other qualifications like nurse. And to hear her say “It’ll happen when he’s ready” was a breath of fresh air.No advice on how to *make* him want to do it. No, have you tried this or that. Just it’ll happen when he’s ready.I want him to be ready. I really REALLY do. But I love him with a fierceness of a mama bear, and I want to not only guide my cub to success but help protect him from unnecessary anxiety. I KNOW anxiety. And I believe forcing him to potty train is just that, unnecessary pressure to do something he WILL do in his own good time.Do I feel like a bad mom sometimes when all of his buddies and younger cousin are running off to pee and poop on the pot with no issues? Yes, I do. But that’s just my own mama guilt that I’ve created for myself. I need to let that go and OWN my parenting beauty.Hi, I’m Cristi. I’m a good mom. And my almost four year old is still in diapers.//LinkWithinCodeStart var linkwithin_site_id = 664507; var linkwithin_div_class = "linkwithin_hook"; //LinkWithinCodeEnd wpa2a.script_load(); Filed in Diapering, Mental Health, Parenting, Potty Training 0 comments No comments yet. Be the first to leave a comment !Leave a Comment Name Email Website […]

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